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Dear Andy,

I have finally tried Israeli Dancing here, and it is a big group. It takes me an hour to get there by bus, and then someone has been giving me a ride home afterwards. It is fun to have the big group and to be exposed to new dances, in addition to the many I already know from you, but the way they do partner dancing here is so different. Basically you have to have a dedicated partner or you can’t participate. I took for granted the way that you have us rotate around, and now I appreciate it even more.

Karen

For folk dancers who are used to choreographed dances, such as contra, English country, Israeli, international folk, Irish set, round, Scottish, square, and the like, you are in for a treat.

Great for Women

How To Dance With a Partner is great for women folk dancers. You will learn how to follow so you can do every choreographed partner dance without having to learn the steps. Now that is a convenient skill to have.

You will be more pleasant to dance with than the women that know the steps because you will take every step in coordination with your partner so you are two people dancing as one.

Great for Men

How To Dance With a Partner is great for men folk dancers. You will learn how to lead in choreographed partner dancing so whatever you do is correct, even when you do not know what you are doing. The reason being you will have a fully supportive partner, who will follow whatever you do.

Leading and Following Choreographed Dances

Regardless of who knows and who does not know the steps to a dance, the person dancing the man's role leads and the person dancing the woman's role follows. Even if the woman thinks she knows the dance perfectly and the man has never seen the dance before, still the woman should follow the man. When I say follow, I mean the woman should follow everything the man does without resistance, right or wrong, and be happy about it.

The reason for the man leading is efficacy. Due to the nature of choreography, the man can unambiguously lead every step for the woman in every social dance following the principles of How To Dance With a Partner.

The reverse is not true. Choreography is such that the woman cannot unambiguously lead all the man's steps. Since the woman cannot lead the man's steps, you cannot do the dance properly if the woman is leading. Since you cannot do the dance properly anyway, you might as well have the man lead. This way he will eventually learn the dance. If the woman leads, he will never learn to lead the dance.

Embrace How To Dance With a Partner

Choreographed dances typically have choreography far more varied than most ballroom type dances. Normal social partner dance skills are not sufficient for communicating the choreography of ballroom dances let alone the complex choreography of folk dances. How To Dance With a Partner was specifically invented for choreographed partner dancing.

If you are going to follow How To Dance With a Partner, do it all the way. Otherwise, the difficulty of the folk dances will overwhelm you. The man's job is difficult, requiring all his mental capacity. The woman must follow the man all the time, without looking around to try to follow other people. If she does not respond immediately to all the man's signals, the man likely will become confused, feel stressed out, and quit.

If the man does not know the dance, you have to accept that he will not be able to do the choreography correctly the first time. However, each time he does the dance, he will pick up more. Eventually he will learn the dance. That is only if the woman follows everything the man does all the time.

Trust in How To Dance With a Partner

For more information on this subject, see the Appendix topic Choreographed Partner Dances in How To Dance With a Partner.

Have fun learning this fantastic new skill. Folk dancers are so used to memorizing their parts that for many women following feels like giving up control. Many women are reluctant to do so. Learning How To Dance With a Partner is empowering. You will be able to do every dance whether or not you and your partner know the steps. Especially for the women, when you learn how to follow, you never have to memorize another dance and you can do every one.

Take my word, for now, and follow the rules. Reserve your judgement until you have been through all the material and gained a fair level of skill so you can form your opinions based on experience.

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